Overthinking vs inquisitiveness (Supermoms think super smart!)
Listen up, supermom.
Firstly, Thank you. Thank you for being who you are, thank you for all the challenges and difficulties you’ve gone through in your whole process; from pregnancy till childbirth; thank you for your unconditional love that you’ve been showering to the beautiful little baby that started their journey in your womb. As simple or insignificant you think it sounds to thank you just for this, it isn’t. It may not be spoken about enough but not every woman has it in her to go through what you have. While it’s no disrespect to the ones who didn’t want it, you surely deserve the credit and respect that you’re being showered with.
But look, don’t be so hard on yourself, okay? This process, this transition of your life that you’re going through is difficult & extremely challenging, I know. There’s a lot that you must be going through right now, trying to figure out complex stuff. Things like; “Oh, how do I mother my child the right way?”
“Oh, How do I set a good example for my impressionable kids?”
“Oh, How do I fill in my objective of doing wonders at home and at work, not just looking to balance things?
“Oh, How do I manage my proficiency at work at the same time as creating a great family environment for my kids?”
The list goes on&on. You’re in the battlefield of thoughts and it seems like a phase of heavy self-inquisitiveness.
But here’s where you’re most prone to make the mistake of confusing your “Method” of Self-inquisitiveness with overthinking; each and everything.
“Self inquisitiveness means being at the state of looking for awareness about yourself, being in the constant buzz of deepening your learning of yourself”.
I understand you have a kid now. Life isn’t the same, decision making won’t be the same. Although I understand that, you will have to first soak in the fact that; this is the time for you to be self-inquisitive; not overthink.
But look, before I tell you more about inquisitiveness and why not to overthink, I want to let you know that I empathize with you for “why” you’re in the place of overthinking.
At this current moment, it’s easy for you to easily lose the balance in your life; A kid has entered your life, let it be 1 day, 1 month or even 1-year-old. It’s that point of your life, you’re looking at massive change happening and it’s taking you time to adapt to the situation. At the same time, you start to doubt your ability as a mother because you’re not able to immediately adapt to your present life; after all, you did so well in adapting in all the other times in your life, that is when you got married or when you changed jobs, or schools and so on. So why not this time?
Now, If you resonate with this, you’ll need to understand that there’s a difference. One, that’s so evidently there, but although you know this difference, your mind doesn’t stop you from exploiting itself with these thoughts and easily loses track of Self-empathy; which further leads to overthinking.
The truth be told, it’s not completely your fault. It’s a lot to do with how the societal expectations of how a mother “Should” be which began the chaos in the first place.
At this point, you could be worried about thinking if you should quit your job. If you should be giving 100% priority to your kids and your husband. If your husband will feel bad and left out if you decided to work and manage the kid and give him less time; the never-ending confusions. You become extremely self-conscious about every choice that you’re making, especially in a period where you should focus on becoming self-aware through being self inquisitive.
Here’s the important difference between both you should truly grasp, which is;
“Overthinking comes from a place of fear & anxiety. Whereas Inquisitiveness comes from a place of curiosity & the need for clarity”
The purpose behind telling you this is, to help you understand that your thoughts might flow from the place of Overthinking, which honestly isn’t fair to yourself. Neither will it help you make the right choices or will it support your mental health.
Whereas self-inquisitiveness comes from a place of purely self-reflection. It is what you, as a new supermom need; understanding/Curiosity of trying to understand who you are as a person and how your values are acting out at this present moment.
On the path to inquisitiveness, inevitably you will find out unflattering things about yourself; but all you’ll have to remember is we were never perfect, to begin with ; it’s not about having flaws, it’s how beautifully you carry them that sets you apart.
Changes happen inevitably, sometimes it takes you off the direction which you were set out on initially, but that doesn’t mean it needs to mean that you’re suddenly incomplete and should strip you out of your happiness and self-worthiness.
Self-reflection; a.k.a decision making and thought process should be conducted very carefully, by asking yourself some integral questions as a new mom, which is;
- Am I taking anything for granted?
- Am I employing a healthy perspective?
- Am I living true to myself?
- Am I waking up in the morning ready to take on the day?
- Am I thinking of negative thoughts before I fall asleep?
- Am I putting enough effort into my relationships?
- Am I taking care of myself physically?
- Am I letting matters that are out of my control stress me out?
- Am I achieving the goals that I’ve set for myself?
- Am I using my time wisely?
When you start understanding your own actions and how your life looks like at this moment and you finally get into a place of acceptance and understanding of what YOU need, you’ve already set the pace for your life and journey as a SUPER-MOM!
Your challenges are only as big as you make them out in your head. Cheer up, and take on this journey of being of a SUPERMOM, with Clarity and purpose!
Sometimes on this journey, we need an extended hand, an accountability partner. Clarity & Purpose is exactly what a coach specializes in to be there is the facilitator of your thoughts and your objectives, to keep you on track and stay focused.
So unless you need one, be your own best coach and firestorm forward on your journey as a SUPERMOM!
Hope this was helpful.
Much love and power to you on this journey!